I have this mind that enjoys replaying the past. It could be the past 5 years or the past 5 minutes. I play it over and over and over in my head, COMPLETELY missing out on the experiences happening to me and around me at that very moment.
Heaven forbid something amazing occur in my life! Then I'm focused on the future and where this blessing could lead rather than just enjoying the blessing itself.
By harping on the past and the future, I've felt a bit ungrateful for where I actually AM at this point in my life.
A friend of mine told me about this book, "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskcamp. The premise is simply retraining ourselves to recognize and give thanks for the little (or big) things in life that bring us joy and happiness. By doing so, we are connecting and giving thanks to God.
It could be the way the sun shines through the blinds in the morning, making that awesome shadow on the wall. It could be the feel of warm grass on your feet, the sound of the wind in the trees, the smell of fresh baked muffins in a coffee shop. Recognizing and acknowledging all of these small "pleasurable" moments, for me, is like a jolt back to reality. A moment to say... WOW! Thank YOU for placing me right where I am. I am precisely where I need to be, seeing or feeling what is around me. If anything, it has made me talk with God more. And that's something I've definitely missed this season.
Last year, while touring the country on my own, I had NO choice but to speak with and pray to God 24/7. I mean... I was stranded in airports at times, riding the Greyhound bus system (yikes!), navigating through busy cities (or country towns) on my own. I ended up in some pretty sketchy and scary situations... but the whole time I had this rolling commentary with God. (ex., "Alright... I know this Walgreens is being robbed while I'm back here looking for cold medicine, but Lord, PuhLEASE let my taxi driver still be out there when I make a run for it" <---- True story)
This year, thank GOODNESS, I have company during my travels. Flesh and Blood company. Having Dylan along on this year's tours has been a TRUE blessing. He plans well and doesn't operate on my Pisces way of thinking (just send good thoughts and good things will happen). I've been able to sit back and allow Dylan to take over the travel details. This means of course, I never really know what's happening day to day, but I know without a doubt that everything is set up and the details are in order.
Because I'm not living in the constant state of worry or self protection, I've also missed my daily/hourly talks with God.
So. Here's what I'm going to do about it. I'm taking (literally) a chapter out of Ann Voskamp's book and I'm documenting the many gifts God is sending my way every day. I'll post photos of these many gifts either here on my website, or on my Twitter or Facebook pages. I may not be consistent, but its a start in my goal to simply live in the moment.
Here are a few photos/collages of gifts I've received in the past month: